Saturday, 12 March 2011

Here's Why the President is Always Late

His staff is so stupid they can't even drive a sailboat!
SO lets talk about that BP oil spill just to kick a dead pelican covered with oil one more time. All this oil polluting the environment and even though this is BP’s problem again the president has actually received a lot of criticism for the amount of time it took him to respond to the disasters…..and THAT… because….a l lot of people don’t know this one….but when there's a real big cotastrpohe and they really need t o get the president somewhere they don’t actually use air force one like everyone thinks….no….you know how the president actually travels during emergencies……SAILBOATS.

Recently the Louisiana Legislature named June 29th an official day of praying stating that mere mortals had failed to solve the crisis and that the help of God was clearly needed. Guess What! When God buries the oil 2 miles below the ocean and then another mile under bedrock…..I'm pretty sure that’s all that God is going to do!

So I was out looking for jobs the other day and in this economy we all know how hard that can be right? So being that Ive had eh, lets just say…some minor gun felonies, a couple times getting busted for ecstasy dealing and 3 times getting evicted for growing marijuana in my apartment, lets just day I'm not the most hirable guy on the street. So what kind of what should I apply for ? That’s right jobs with the government!

I put on the resume that for a short time I actually lived in a bubble for no apparent reason , really just because I figure….what kind of person does it take to hate a bubble boy for gods sake….Ive never met a bubble boy that I haven’t liked

Anyway back to the interview…. I though I totally ruined the interview when on my typical turrets rant about multiple victims and states, Dennys parking Lots and Blue Vans….. the nice government worker that interviewed me said they didn’t care about the convictions, rap sheet, credit score, or the blue van THEY JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF I COULD DRIVE A SAILBOAT.

By Ryan Regan AKA Regan The Pagan